ps something you might enjoy: 10 Ways to Build Resilience

10 ways to build resilience

Make connections. Good relationships with close family members, friends or others are important. Accepting help and support from those who care about you and will listen to you strengthens resilience. Some people find that being active in civic groups, faith-based organizations, or other local groups provides social support and can help with reclaiming hope. Assisting others in their time of need also can benefit the helper.

Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems. You can't change the fact that highly stressful events happen, but you can change how you interpret and respond to these events. Try looking beyond the present to how future circumstances may be a little better. Note any subtle ways in which you might already feel somewhat better as you deal with difficult situations.

Accept that change is a part of living. Certain goals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter.

Move toward your goals. Develop some realistic goals. Do something regularly — even if it seems like a small accomplishment — that enables you to move toward your goals. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, "What's one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?"

Take decisive actions. Act on adverse situations as much as you can. Take decisive actions, rather than detaching completely from problems and stresses and wishing they would just go away.

Look for opportunities for self-discovery. People often learn something about themselves and may find that they have grown in some respect as a result of their struggle with loss. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have reported better relationships, greater sense of strength even while feeling vulnerable, increased sense of self-worth, a more developed spirituality and heightened appreciation for life.

Nurture a positive view of yourself. Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps build resilience.

Keep things in perspective. Even when facing very painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Avoid blowing the event out of proportion.

Maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables you to expect that good things will happen in your life. Try visualizing what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear.

Take care of yourself. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly. Taking care of yourself helps to keep your mind and body primed to deal with situations that require resilience.

Additional ways of strengthening resilience may be helpful. For example, some people write about their deepest thoughts and feelings related to trauma or other stressful events in their life. Meditation and spiritual practices help some people build connections and restore hope.

The key is to identify ways that are likely to work well for you as part of your own personal strategy for fostering resilience.

Naturally, ME

It's been awhile since I have posted but I have felt an overwhelming urge to write again. I received a random email from someone who is very dear to me, she sent a simple list of 10 ways to build resilience out of the clear blue! Wow. I really appreciated that and it met my mood beautifully. This has been on my mind for awhile. How do I get back into the game after almost a year and a half of hiding? I want to kick off the rust and get excited about life again! I want to have a clear mind, I want to feel proactive again. I am over being "OK" with sitting on the couch and just hanging out. I swear our dog has started to sense it and I know it's time for a change.

“We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are.” - Max DePree

I kept trying to change everything around me manually until I realized it's not something I truly have control over as much as I just need to listen to my body, I need to let things happen naturally.

I am all into natural things but then I fall back into old habits really easy. I used to think smoking pot was natural and super hippy, which, sure- it is, but I mean, I just want to be bare bones natural again.

I switched my face wash awhile ago from a slew of other random things to a more natural process. I learned to love oil cleansers for my oily skin. I used Boscia from Sephora until my skin sort of plateau'd and then now I am using Dr Dennis from Sephora, all vegan and I love it! It's reminding me of the days my mom would give me witch hazel and bag balm to fix skin ailments. I learned to love coconut oil for oil pulling. I bought natural Tom's tooth paste and only use that now (anything else is just weird). I use all natural body wash and am close to making the change on shampoo/conditioners. I eat as little processed foods as possible but would like to make a serious change in this department sooner rather than later. I have been 70/30 dairy free. I always fail when someone presents ice cream or any kind of yummy cheese platter. I have considered skipping nail polish altogether, just because I like the way natural nails look and it's a huge money saver.

I also firmly believe in giving money to the place, companies, cities that really need it and that really use it wisely. No more Foster Farms, no more General Mills, no more spending money to support money-hungry giants in the food industry. I care about where my food comes from, I want to eat at farm-to-table restaurants. I want to watch every documentary about green juice and fat loss and animal cruelty so that I can honestly know what I am participating in in this world today.

I love to cook at home more often, more and more, so that has helped the transition over to all organic products as much as possible. I just read an article/watched a video about a girl who did an science experiment with sweet potatoes at home. She purchased 3 different potatoes - one from the store, regular,then one from the store but this time it was organic and a 3rd from a farmers market, organic. The results were mind blowing - the first potato (not organic) never sprouted any sprouts, after a month sitting in water. The 2nd potato, organic from store, started to sprout some leaves after about 3-4 weeks. The last, all organic, family farmed potato -- it sprouted like a weed after just one week in a cut of water. Like, whaat!?

Another experiment with food that I did ... re-grew my own green onions after a handful had gone semi-bad. I snipped the top green part off and put the little white bulb end of the onion into a cup of water. Changed the water daily so that it had new stuff to drink and it honestly re-grew green onions right there, in front of my eyes, on the window seal. Like in a week, it grew crazy crazy fast!

With all of these small, semi-changes, I have realized I am really craving that strong sense of self again. I want to be connected to my spirit and I want to laugh and enjoy things on the same level I used to when I was in college and when I was obsessed/head over heels in love with my man. Don't get me wrong - I am still all of those things but I just don't FEEL them as passionately as before. So now...I am going to continue with the natural growth theme and I am going to continue to listen to myself and follow my instincts. I want to gradually start a life that is full of natural shit.

My plan is to document how I really make these decisive changes and I hope that this helps me stick to them. Little by little, just like I used to do with my favorite foods and products, I hope to share what I love and what I found challenging about the entire thing and then we can go from there! Some writings may be regarding something from the past, documenting a prior event and then some may be  full of new, fresh thoughts, sometimes weird and always naturally, by me.

My goals? To be happy and healthy inside and out. To be a mom someday, and a mom that provides the most TLC possible. To be a productive partner to my man. I want to eat leafy green veggies at every meal. To get back to being lively at work, full of funny stories and positive thoughts. To be a lover, an aunt and sister and daughter and friend that fully commits to whatever it is I am committing to. To be a cook and someone who cares about ingredients. To be quirky and weird again. To be honest and kind and reliable for myself and for others. To communicate and share real thoughts about how I feeling in the moment and ask for help from others when I need it. Time to really look in the mirror and not look away. I want to have nice skin and a nice body and feel comfortable in them both. I want to live near the ocean but not just for beach walks, I want to actually get in and swim more often. I want to ride a road bike with Bryan and teach Jack how to run right next to us. I want to be crafty and sell things on Etsy. I want to renovate our Palm Springs property without hesitation and I want to save money for a rainy day (a box of spare cash in the closet would never hurt, right?). I want to continue to work for a company (KHOSLA) that supports my feelings on life so that I feel fulfilled as I dedicate time to it. I want to go for walks and hikes and runs to clear my mind. I want to try getting into Pilates and Yoga and maybe even meditation so that I can replace my anxiety with peace and love and calm energy.

We'll see :) Send some love if you're up for it. For now, here's a little something sweet to think about that I want to share:

"I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don't want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing out loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down, and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift." — Shauna Niequist (Cold Tangerines)